Part I – Early Planning Tips for your Wedding
For Partner X:
On a vast private beach, on a cool summers night, at the top of a cliff – your partner pops the question. Finally the day has come. There you are standing before your future life partner who looks up at you with loving eyes asking for your hand in marriage.
For Partner Y:
Finally the moment has come. Having checked that the ring is in your pocket what seems like a million times you attempt to stay calm and breathe. “Can they tell that I am about to ask? Act cool! Okay, I’m going to do it…here I go…”
For Both Partner X and Y:
Music plays as joyful weeks of engagement celebration unfold. Then the first conversation about the wedding occurs. Music screeches to a halt. Sigh. Bang. Clash.
This admittedly limited romantic scenario, which occurs in a plethora of ways, is merely to illustrate that the proposal is the “easy” bit. The euphoria and relief is quickly diluted by the actual planning of the wedding itself. Many of us enjoy imagining our wedding and some of say things like, “I just want to keep it low key, you know, a party for our family and friends” – really?
As with everything we do in life, honesty is key. Planning a wedding is a wonderful yet stressful event. Try and keep your feet on the ground and your head level. Easier said than done. But when going in to battle, you must go prepared. As Norwegian’s say “there is no such thing as cold weather. Just the wrong clothing” – so brace yourself and do this right.
1. The very Basics – A, B…D
Do not discuss anything about the wedding when:
c) Ladies: PMSing
d) Gentlemen: going through male PMS or a man cold.
2. Establish a Zen- like Wedding Mood
Set aside time to talk “Wedding”. Have a glass of wine, cup of tea, put on some soothing music. Make the environment calming and pleasant. This is supposed to be fun, remember?
3. Confession time
When planning a wedding the most important thing to do, prior to starting any planning at all, is for you and your partner to establish the space to air how you have (or have not) imagined your wedding at one point in your lives. If you want butterflies released as you enter the reception room– admit it. Get it off your chest and speak your mind. After your confession take a break, have a laugh, dance around the kitchen; let it all sink in.
4. Post “wedding confession”
Compromise time. Spending the rest of your life with someone includes making a multitude of compromises. Your ideal wedding may be a little, or way, outside of your budget and not to your partners liking. Fear not – your wedding will be beautiful no matter what. Try and remember the simple things along the way and pinch yourself when you get bogged down with minuscule details. Instead of your glass being half empty, make sure it is half full. Then you can focus on all that can be done and all the things you do agree on.
5. Guest List – Round One
Simple Fact – Many Guests = More Dinero. The more people you invite, the more expensive the party. Try and invite the people you and your partner actually want at your wedding. Sounds obvious, no? Well as you all know in many cultures one invites everybody, even the best friend of your fathers best friend – and their cousin. You may not know them, but you “have” to invite them. Traditions change – this is your day. Don’t be afraid to do things your way. Everybody else can do it his or her way when it is their wedding, but this wedding is you and your partner’s day! (This mantra should be repeated every day please). Using Google Documents make an excel sheet with a list of people you would want to invite. Try and organize them under categories i.e. friends, family, other. Some people you will invite out of courtesy knowing that they won’t come. Try and limit the extent of this courtesy, being too polite can be unnecessarily costly.
Part II will be published this Sunday when Jenny explores the date, location and much more.Tell us what you think in the comments below or on:
Dos Lives Team
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